Babysitting Competition

I was lucky to have a friend like Brian. We were both only children born on the same day in the same hospital. We were next-door neighbours and pretty much lived in each other’s houses. We were closer than brothers and could have been twins. Our parents were best friends too, so that we called each other’s parents ‘uncle’ and ‘auntie’. I guess people thought we were cousins. I was the shy quiet one and Brian was the risk taker who always got us into trouble.

It was Brian who had the idea of a boys’ club in our back garden shed and Brian who insisted that members had to show their cocks before they could be let in. He said it was to prevent any disguised girls sneaking in, but I think that even at ten years old he got pleasure looking at other guys’ dicks. We were both grounded for two weeks when Jimmy Arnold told his mother what the secret password was.

We got another two weeks when Brian organised a pissing competition up Mrs Arnold’s side wall. We would have got away with it and blamed it on their old tom cat were it not for the fact that the sliding kitchen window was open and the winner, in full spraying glory, managed to contaminate a rich fruit cake that was cooling there. Jimmy told on us.

As soon as we hit puberty, it was on for young and old. Everything became a competition for Brian. Who had the most pubic hairs? (Brian always did). Who had the longest dick? (Brian always did). Who could cum fastest? (Thirty seconds – well we were thirteen). Who could cum most in a day? (Fourteen times and I’m still amazed it didn’t kill me.)

The evening that I will never forget occurred when we were thirteen. Our parents were going out for dinner and had organised a babysitter for both of us at Brian’s house. We both felt that we were too old for babysitters but for some reason our parents didn’t agree. Brian suggested that we had a competition. Whoever could gross out the babysitter so that she’d never sit for us again would win. The loser would have to pay six forfeits. Forfeits included things like doing each other’s chores, but more often than not were sexually motivated. I sucked my first cock under forfeit.. Without Brian, I would never have dared try such things.

We were expecting our usual babysitter, Jenny Arnold. She was only a couple of years older than us and her brother Jimmy and we knew that she would be easy to gross out. We were taken aback when it wasn’t Jenny but her mother who turned up. Jenny had been taken ill. Our parents wanted to cancel but Mrs Arnold insisted that it would be no problem and ushered them out of the door. We looked at each other and Brian winked. I couldn’t believe he still wanted to go through with it.

Mrs Arnold took off her coat, exposing hairy muscled arms that would have suited Mr Arnold better. She sat down on the couch, never batting an eye at the lump of fake dog turd that Brian had placed there. She turned on the TV, to be presented with a ten-inch black erection plugging a screaming white woman. Brian had raided his father’s porn videos.

Mrs Arnold folded her manly arms, smiled sweetly at us, muted the TV and looked at the two of us. “Well boys,” she said quietly, “Is that the best you can do? It will take more than that to gross out Betty Arnold. Now, which one of you would like to help me undress?” The video was just coming to a climax. “I’m sure you boys would like to see what a real woman looks like wouldn’t you?” She started to unbutton her blouse.

Brian and I took one look at the huge mounds of flesh that were starting to appear, one look at each other and bolted up the stairs to his room as fast as our legs would carry us. Mrs Arnold’s laughter chased us all the way.

I’m convinced to this day that I would have turned out straight if I hadn’t been grossed out by Betty Arnold. There are some things you just don’t ever get over.