Alternative Nursery Rhymes

The following adaptations of traditional nursery rhymes are taken from my children’s book Tricky Tristan Starts School. For more information and to buy the book click the picture.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Tris and Rachel were already there,
Doing what they shouldn’t ought’er.

Little Boy Blue come blow on your horn,
The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn.
But where is the little boy who looks after the sheep,
He’s under the haystack with Little Bo Peep.

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester,
In a shower of rain.
He went to the zoo,
And caught the flu,
And a parrot said ‘what a shame’.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
To get a free view of the cricket.

Peter Piper picked his nose.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
Thank heaven for ‘odour eaters’.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get a slice of bread.
When she got there
The cupboard was bare,
So she had cake for her tea instead.

Rub‑a‑dub‑dub,
Three men down the pub;
And who do you think they be?
My dad, your dad and Billy’s dad,
They’ve been there since half past three.

Old King Cole
Was a merry old soul
‘Cause he spent all his time down the pub.

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
And dreamed all the hours away.
Down came a spider
And sat down beside her,
So she squashed it.

Little Miss Muffet
Still sat on the tuffet
And watched the world go by.
No more spiders
Came near her that day,
So instead she killed a fly.

Hickory dickory dock
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The cat got the other.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
I’ve got no seeds,
And too many weeds,
And it’s only three weeks ’till the show.